I’m a matron of honor in a wedding, and I was planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party?
I’m a Matron of honor in a wedding. The maid of honor and I was planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Our plans were to have the all five us (matron, maid and 3 bridemaids) pitch in financially to make this a wonderful event. Is this a bad plan or is the matron and maid responsible financially for the bash?
I have been in 3 weddings and with all 3 everyone in the bridal party pitched in. Noone was left with all of the responsibility because we all wanted to bride to have a nice party. We all pitched in and helped. I’m also married and my bridal party did the same for me no certain person was left planning and paying. I just feel like everyone pitching in is alot stressful both planning and financially, and even though I’m the matron of honor the maid and bridemaids are the bride’s sisters and they are the ones not willing to pitch in and make this a great event. I myself isn’t financially able to pay for the entire bash so I really don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do for the bride and not cost a great deal?
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14 comments
mv_alva on March 4, 2010 at 11:23 pm
Every wedding that I have been in we split the cost of the bachelorette party. But, we did not contribute to the wedding shower.
steph on March 5, 2010 at 12:23 am
i don’t see the harm and asking the others to help pitch in..
but than again i don’t see the point of the bride not kicking in either..
but thats just me
Ollie J on March 5, 2010 at 12:34 am
If i were asked i would contribute. You’d want to make your friend’s event special.
singlegreenjeff on March 5, 2010 at 12:50 am
As long as the bride is not insulted in any way ask for the cash- split it equally and then the day of the shower/party give each person who helped a nice hostess gift – a personalized one. Then it marks the event and you all have a keepsake from it.
krissyxgoesxgrr on March 5, 2010 at 12:54 am
I thought Matron and Maid were the same thing… Dang. All this wedding planning I’ve done and I still don’t have it right!
Anyway, I think everybody is kind of expected to pitch in and help in some form or another for the shower and party.
butterfly!11 on March 5, 2010 at 1:46 am
I’ve been in 4 weddings and MOH in 2 of them, I’ve always helped pitch in for the bridal shower even when I was just a bridesmaid. Even if it was just bringing some food to the shower. But the majority of the costs and planning should come from the MOH.
For the Bachelorette party, I had everyone split the hotel costs or limo whatever you guys decide to do. and it just worked out that everyone would be buying the bride to be a drink we just rotated that.
Catherine A on March 5, 2010 at 2:18 am
i think asking the other girls for help both with setting up and financially is a great idea are you suppose to do everything yourself!!!
Lydia on March 5, 2010 at 2:42 am
It’s fine to include everyone. Where I’m from the family does the shower, with help from BMs. Have the shower at someone’s home, then everyone can chip in to bring food and dainties, so it’s really low cost. You just need a few decorations, plan some games, and that’s about it.
kateqd30 on March 5, 2010 at 3:24 am
When I was the MOH, I split the cost of the caterer with all the girls, but I paid for the decorations, favors, etc by myself. However I had a reason for doing this, I didnt want to have to OK anything with anyone, if I paid everything was my decision and I had been planning that shower since we were in High School, so I wanted total control over the party.
If you dont mind making it a democracy where everyone gets a say then yes, everyone can split the bill for everything shower related. Dont go crazy though, we had our shower at a nice catering hall witha buffet lunch, and it cost each girl $128 to throw (again I paid for the rest), so it worked within each girls budget. Keep it in mind the girls fincial statuses may not be as good as yours, so be sure to check with each girl personally (not in front of everyone) how much they can afford.
sunshine on March 5, 2010 at 3:47 am
In all the weddings I’ve been in, the Maid/Matron of honor and bridesmaids have split any financial obligations that came up for the shower and partys. Here are some ideas however to keep the costs down. If the bride or her family is a member of a church, ask to host the shower there or at one of your homes if it is large enough. One of the great things about having it at a church is that they often will allow you to use the tables and linens as well as serving peices and punch bowls. This can save you a ton compared to renting. And most of the time there is no cost involved…just clean up afterwards. They often have centerpieces and candles that you can use as well.
Divide up the responsibilities….have one be in charge of games….if the games require “props” or any expense then that person will need to cover the cost….so it will be up to her. As far as gifts or door prizes for the games go, just split them up….and have everyone buy 1 gift…within their own means (from candles to bubble bath to costume jewelry or picture frames) then decide what gift will be given with what game depending on difficulty.
As far as cake, punch and snacks go, try to make many of them yourselves…or ask a family member to help. If someone has a beautiful garden or green thumb as them for some fresh cut flowers to use in decorating for the shower. The costs can be kept minimal it just takes creativeness and cooperation.
Pink Denial on March 5, 2010 at 4:44 am
As a bridesmaid, I was never asked to pitch in at all for the bridal shower. However, for these weddings, the moms actually paid for everything (but still wanted the maid of honor to be listed as the host). If this had not been the case, and had I been asked to contribute, I definately would have. That’s just too much to expect the maid/matron of honor to pay for alone.
All of the times as a bridesmaid, I did pitch in for the bachelorette party.
genieve l on March 5, 2010 at 5:01 am
I think it is great idea for everone to pitch in, after all they are the brides closest friends and i am sure they would like for the bride to have memoriable time. But when palnning to have to consider everyone’s budget before defining what type of shower/party you will be throwing. Having everyone give an in put to what the bride may like and what they are willing to contribute, whether it is financially or assistant wise.
If you get someone to contribute the location as ti keeping it their house/apartment, another can help with the snacks/ffood, another with drinks, decorations whatever the case is.
A good idea, that is not to expensive is the rent a hotel room for the night. Bring along some snacks. Do a scavenger hunt type game around the hotel, example, have evryone paired of, give each pair a list of things to do and get and be back at the room at a certain time and whoever wins gets a prize. You can have them take a underwear from another guy’s room, jump in the pool with clothes on, you can think is many crazy things for them to do but the must take pictures to show.
Another cheap idea is to have sleepover. Everyone can take turns giving each other facials and pedicures. Rent girls flick movies.
For the shower, have the bride register somewhere, and keep the shower in the park or someone backyard or home and just have the brides prepare the snacks.
just involve everyone in the planning and i am sure they will contribute in one way or the other.
Ms Mook on March 5, 2010 at 5:42 am
I would ask the others to see if they wanted to pitch in. Some people may think that since you are planning it you have to pay for it, thats just how some people think. Ask and see what they say, no harm in asking.
Mom of 2 on March 5, 2010 at 6:02 am
There is nothing wrong with everyone helping out financially, but…help can come in the form of making the decorations, deliverying invitations or mailing them, preparing food, running errands, etc. Do not forget people’s time is valuable. Just have a luncheon or get all the girls together, sit down and talk money. Be honest and don’t make anyone feel bad if they can’t afford much. It would be nice to have a budget before you start this. Do not expect everyone to pay the same amount. Then get everyone’s input and ideas and plan it together. These events do not have to be expensive. Simple but fun. You might consider a couples shower at someone’s home and have a backyard bbq. I just went to one last weekend. It was great to get to meet the groom and he even got gifts too (tools). The best man can help out with this.